Hello! I’m Nodoka, an intern at Pacific Match Global.
My love life has always been a failure. I have encountered many boyfriends in my life, but none of the relationships lasted for a stable term. The typical dating pattern I have encountered is this: He was very nice at first, but after we started dating, he treated me neglectfully or cheated on me. I wondered, “I’m doing so much for him. So why?” After all these experiences, I even thought that all men were jerks and just hiding that part before dating, so I should stop expecting anything from them from the beginning.
However, when I found the book the Rules, I understood why I had kept failing in relationships. All the actions I was taking in my relationships were things I shouldn’t have done as described in the book…! Here’s a quick rundown of what the Rules has to say. The secret to a successful relationship is to be “a woman who men chase.” A long, long time ago, men were given the role of hunting for human beings to survive so that they would instinctively rather chase women (prey) than be chased. If you contact him too often or are always at his convenience, he will think you are his and cool off.
Here are some practical ways to become a “woman chased by a man” from the book, the Rules, explained with my past mistakes.
When meeting for a date, set up a convenient location for you. A man who likes you would be happy to pick you up to make you like him more. In addition, the more effort he puts in for you, the more he likes you.
From the beginning of my relationship, my ex said, “I want to see you every day because I want to be with her as much as possible.” So I visited him every day for him. I had been busy with part-time jobs and schoolwork before dating, but I changed my life schedule for my boyfriend and even reduced my part-time job that was my livelihood. In the end, we didn’t last long. But I’m glad we ended. When I spared after breaking up, I questioned myself, “What did I want to do in my college life? What shall I work hard for?” then I set up my goals that I would never have thought of when I was with him. I am sure I would have enjoyed being in a relationship, but I was able to spend the time I would have spent on him on myself and find more excellent value in it. A woman capable of enriching her life on her own, and enjoys romance as a bonus is more attractive than a woman who “needs” a boyfriend to be happy.
A woman who values her own time and has a full life even by herself is more attractive.
When I first started dating, I wanted to do many couple-like things. I said, “Let’s go here this weekend!” “I want to go here. Are you free next week?” I filled up my schedule with plans with him by making my own suggestions. I didn’t want to goof up on the day, so I would make sure to have a perfect date plan every time.
However, the Rules says that the date invitation should definitely come from the man. Women have to wait patiently until he asks them out. There will be times when a good-looking man or boyfriend will not ask you out for a date. But all you can do is wait. In the meantime, you can improve yourself for the next time you meet him. If you and he keep in touch, his feelings will gradually increase, and he will ask you out on a date early or late. Going on a date in this state where you are fully ready and he is interested in you more than ever before will definitely go smoothly.
These are my introduction to the Rules. What I realized after reading this book is that I was too much devoted to my ex-boyfriends. Overly devoted behavior creates a master-servant relationship in a romantic relationship. That is a bad sign. Men are attracted to a mysterious woman who seems a bit unreachable, but a convenient woman who does everything according to men’s will.
Finally, thank you to Mrs. Justine for recommending the book the Rules. That’s all for today, Pacific Match Global intern Nodoka!