If you are dating someone overseas..it is a difficult long-distance period of the relationship until the country-specific entry requirements get lifted. Here’s some hints to keep the long-distance relationship going during the hard time being apart.
1 Lack of conversation topics on the phone
2 Lack of commitment in the relationship
If you spend time together in a real-life, you can strengthen your bond as a couple by not only talking but also doing things together. Sharing the same hobbies or just hanging out together would make you happy.
However, when the only way to communicate with your partner is through phone calls or video chats when it comes to long-distance. It may be fun at first just by talking to your partner on the phone, but often you find hard time finding the topics to talk about. Then you start talking about the same things over and over or start expressing negative emotions out of loneliness. It is very easy to get stuck like this in a long-distance relationship.
Another reason why it is hard for long-distance relationships to last long is that a couple loses a sense of having commitment to the relationship. Your partner may be tempted doing things that you may not feel comfortable with. It is not uncommon for a long-distance relationship to end up by one meeting someone else out of loneliness.
Here’s 5 points to remember to keep long-distance relationship going strong so you can cruise through the challenging period.
If the time difference between you and your partner is large, the frequent contact can become a burden. However, too little contact can cause insecurity. Therefore, start from once week, then increase 2-3 times a week. Then talk about comfortable frequency for both. (Phone call should be kept 30-60 min. End the call while you both feel you want to talk more by confirming the next call schedule.)
On weekends, schedule a video call for an hour or two. Looking at each other’s face is very important. It can bring another level of security of togetherness and feelings for each other. It is also a good idea to make it interesting by setting camera in the room while you are doing something (i.e. cooking, cleaning, ironing etc) and/or suggest to have fun event (costumes, movie watching etc) or to eat together in front of the camera instead of just talking in front of the camera like business meeting.
In a long-distance relationship, you can get insecure, lonely and anxious. To overcome such negative emotions, you and your partner should make plans for the future. It helps to overcome the insecurity when you have plans in place.
Be creative to celebrate special days such as Birthdays, Valentine’s Day, New Year’s Day, etc. Cherishing those events will increase your happiness as a couple. Sending a surprise gift or snail mail a card is also a good idea.
Send a simple text message. Send a photo when you are not schedule to talk to each other. Be careful for the texting to become the conversation…just simple Hello will do.
If you send him texts too often, it can become a stress and pressure to reply back which can result in the less frequent contact. And you in other hand, you get insecure if you don’t get replies. Remember, you may have time to text but other person may be busy. Remember to keep the boundary.
Since you will have a lot more “your time” in the absence of your partner, it is good to find something you can enjoy doing by yourself. Enjoy your hobbies, spend more time with your friends or family, learn how to cook, study the culture / language of his country…etc. It’s a good time to invest in yourself.
In a long-distance, you want to reach out and to know what’s he is doing, you want to ask many questions, you want to hear his voice, you want to create the togetherness. As a result, you are the one who end up suggesting calls.
Remember to stay emotionally independent. Avoid to become nagging partner. If you suggest calls, s/he won’t have to suggest. Then you feel like s/he never suggest the calls. That will make you insecure and nagging partner.
Good relationship environment should be supportive, but it is different when one is dependent. Remember, you are the one to make “you” happy. The relationship will not make you happy if you are not happy with yourself.
The more you become emotionally dependent on your partner, the less attractive you will become to your partner. Think how you feel if your partner “depend” and ‘demand’ you for his/her emotional needs.
Share and communicate about your anxiety. If you can figure out the cause of the negative emotions, you can find ways to support each other. It is better than constantly demanding to your partner to provide something when you are the one who needs to work on things.
Once you can gain back your happy self, even the long-distance relationship can become healthy one and you both will be happily reconnected.
1. Agree on an appropriate frequency of phone calls.
2. Make Future Plans
3. Send Him Simple Messages
4. Enjoy Your Alone Time
5. Don’t Become Emotionally Dependent partner
I have so far explored 5 effective tips to overcome the difficult time during the long-distance relationship period. The most important thing is to enjoy the long-distance relationship itself. As the world is slowly opening up, it will be matter of time when you two can be together. Until then, remember to keep a good balance with your own lifestyle and the relationship by keeping busy and staying emotionally independent.
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